


A Variation On An Aria Da Capo

by Raconteur_Reaper



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood and Violence, Canon Het Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Dark Comedy, Fandom Allusions & Cliches & References, Gen, Non-Canonical Character Death, Parody, Play within a Play, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-07-28 15:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7646455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raconteur_Reaper/pseuds/Raconteur_Reaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raiden and Rose are shooting a film, but Big Boss claims he was scheduled to use that lot to shoot his film at the same time. Includes Solid and Liquid Snake as salty actors and parodies the MGS series. Written in the format of a one-act play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Variation On An Aria Da Capo

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Aria Da Capo](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/218407) by Edna St.Vincent Millay. 



> A one-act play I wrote for my playwriting class. This one is a parody of the MGS games in general. It was inspired by the play "Aria Da Capo" by Edna St. Vincent Millay, and is a modern take on the play.  
> xoxo Rac.

**A Variation On An Aria Da Capo**

**CAST OF CHARACTERS**

JACK, a young man (to be played by a woman)

ROSE, a young woman

JOHN, the Big Boss

DAVID and ELI} Twin brothers

 

 

 

ACT 1

 **Scene One:** Evening, a movie set.

 **At rise: JACK** and **ROSE** are on

a movie set designed to look like the interior

 of a classy restaurant. It is garnished with

 the latest décor and they are seated opposite of

 each other at a small, dimly lit table with a long

 tablecloth. They are dining and before them is

fine wine and gourmet food. Spotlights and

 cameras at various distances are focused on them.

**ROSE**

Jack, you DO remember what day it is, don’t you?

**JACK**

Er, April 20th?

**ROSE**

And?

          (looks at **JACK** expectantly)

**JACK**

And what? Is there something important about it?

**ROSE**

Important?! Jack, it’s our anniversary! How could you forget?!

**JACK**

Rose, I-

**ROSE**

Oh, forget it, Jack. I don’t know how I could _live_ with a boyfriend as forgetful as you. In fact-

          (she stands up)

I’m breaking up with you! Right now! And this time I’m serious!

**JACK**

          (he sighs)

Oh, don’t do this Rose. Please, not again!

(he reaches for **ROSE’** s hand to pull her back into her seat)

Let’s just forget about this and enjoy the evening, okay?

**ROSE**

          (she reluctantly reseats herself)

Fine. Just promise me you’ll remember next time!

**JACK**

I promise, dear. Now relax, enjoy the food, the drink, the jazz!

**ROSE**

Ah, if I close my eyes and listen long enough, I finally start to forget about that awful script in that movie we just saw… It was a Wes Anderson film, wasn’t it?

 

**JACK**

No, not at all! It was directed by Jonathan Dayton and Valarie Farris. And I didn’t think the script was awful. It was written that way to emphasize the characterization.

 

**ROSE**

          (aside)

Funny how he remembers that and not our anniversary!

          (to **JACK** )

Oops. I guess the quirky, dysfunctional family motif and the focus on color threw me off… There were a lot of pastels in the shots, don’t you think?

 

**JACK**

Pastels and bright colors, yeah. Sort of like the paintings in that new collection at MoMA.

 

 

**ROSE**

Oh, Jack, can we go there tomorrow? Please? We _have_ to go! I’d just _die_ if we didn’t!

**JACK**

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re an actress. You’re so dramatic! Go audition for a reality TV show or something.

 

**ROSE**

And you think you’re so funny! Why don’t you get your own stand -up comedy show?

          (beat)

Oh, I forgot to ask- what do you think of my new dress?

**JACK**

I liked the other one better. This one is too short and I’m tired of that trend. I’d like to see something more elegant.

 

**ROSE**

And _I’m_ tired of this food. Greek yogurt smoothies and lobster bisque and filet mignon and French cheese plates and guava pastries!

 

**JACK**

Order something else then.

          ( **ROSE** glares at **JACK** )

Hey, if this is about the dress, you were the one that asked. I just gave my honest opinion.

**ROSE**

I thought you were in the service, not a movie critic and a fashion critic.

**JACK**

I’m an art critic, too.

**ROSE**

Stick to one job, Jack. It’ll save you the headache and me the heartache. Now stop your silliness and eat! Your food’s getting cold.

**JACK**

But my dear Rose, don’t you know it’s the latest fashion to eat cold food and juggle jobs? As an expert in pop culture, I would know. Besides, you have more than one job, too; you’re a counselor, a data analyst, and my girlfriend!

 

          (enter **JOHN** )

 

**JACK**

John? What the hell are you doing here? Whaddya mean clear off the set?! Are you half asleep?!

**JOHN**

I don’t sleep.

**JACK**

This isn’t funny, John. This is the real deal, not some rehearsal and you’re cutting into my screen time. Now we’re gonna have to reshoot, so thanks a lot!

**JOHN**

Well that’s your problem, kid. I’m sick of waiting around to shoot.

**JACK**

Well that’s _your_ problem, gramps. This set is already set up for my scene, anyway. What’re you gonna do about that?

**JOHN**

I can improvise.

**JACK**

Great. I’m sure you can. But the fact of the matter is I’m paying to use this lot and my time isn’t up yet. Your movie is marked down for later, so just be patient.

**JOHN**

          (he pulls a pistol from the holster on his waist)

My gun says I shoot now.

**JACK**

Well, I suppose we can always take a water break or something…

 

(exit **ROSE** and **JACK** )

 

 

 

**JOHN**

          (he places the pistol back in the holster)

David! Eli! Where are you boys? 

**ELI**

          (off stage)

We were looking over our scripts, Sir. Is there a problem?

**JOHN**

Come here and do the scene. You’re on.

**ELI**

You think I’m stupid, don’t you! There’s still over an hour before we’re on!

**JOHN**

There’s been a change in plans. You boys are on now.

(pulls out a slate and a director’s chair and seats himself)

**(** enter **ELI** and **DAVID** )

 

**ELI**

You treat me like I’m some dumb kid you can just boss around! Well I’m sick of it!

**DAVID**

Yeah! You pulled me out of retirement to treat me like this? Cut us a break for once!

**JOHN**

          (puts his hand on his holster threateningly)

  **ELI**

Er, how can we do the scene when those other guys’ rubbish is all over the stage? This place is set up for some kind of rom-com, not a tragedy!

  

**JOHN**

It’s acting. Use your imagination. If you’re convinced the audience is convinced. It doesn’t matter so long as you say your lines. I’ll have a script with me to prompt you if you need it.

          (beat)

Alright, camera rolling.

 

( **ELI** and **DAVID** take their places, pushing the props from the other movie aside and lay down side by side)

Aaaand…Action!

          ( **JOHN** claps the slate)

 

**ELI**

My dear brother, doesn’t it seem like some people are just better than others?

**DAVID**

I guess. What of it?

**ELI**

Well I think it’s their genes. They were just made that way.

 

**DAVID**

Sure.

**ELI**

That’s it?!I try to start some conversation with you about genetics and all you can say is “sure?!”

**DAVID**

Well I don’t really want to think about how other people may or may not be better than me. Seems a little, I dunno, counterproductive?

 

**ELI**

You’re missing the point! This is science! Genes dictate your destiny, David!

**DAVID**

…This is a personal matter isn’t it.

**ELI**

Yes. Yes it is. I don’t want to be restricted by what my genes say. I want to prove I’m better. That I can be superior regardless of the hand biology dealt me! My genes will not confine me!

 

**DAVID**

Here’s a tip: your genes won’t restrict you if you don’t wear a belt.

**ELI**

DAVID!

**DAVID**

Alright, alright. Lemme guess, you want to have some kind of competition to prove your point, am I right?

 

**ELI**

I don’t see any other way. Or any other people around to compete with, for that matter. You’ll have to do.

 

**DAVID**

          (mutters)

It’s always a competition with you…

(to **ELI** )

Ok, how about we play a sport. A tennis match or whatever.

 

**ELI**

No way, that’s lame.

**DAVID**

You say that about all my ideas.

**ELI**

Cuz it’s true. Besides, that would be too easy and won’t prove anything. True superiority is determined by more than just physical attributes. I say we have a drawing contest instead. That uses things in sports like hand eye coordination and then you’re also forced to think and obser-

**DAVID**

Bullshit! At least my idea made sense! Drawing contest, wow, where would we even get supplies? And don’t tell me to crush berries or crap.

**ELI**

You’re just afraid cuz you know I’d beat you.

**DAVID**

Damn right, you don’t play fair! It’s anything to one-up me with you, Eli! Last time we did a drawing contest you fucking ate my crayon, and you _knew_ I needed green to finish my snake drawing!

 

 

**ELI**

David we were five. We’re twelve now. Get over it.

          (beat)

Ok. I’ve got an idea way better than those last ones. We’re gonna play pretend. That way we rely entirely on our own wits and we use both physical and mental activities. The winner is the one who outwits the other.

 

**DAVID**

Eli we’re twelve.

**ELI**

And?

**DAVID**

Fine. I wanna be a soldier then- no wait, a spy. Spies are cooler and that way I still get to carry a gun. I’m on a mission to save my country. Good enough start for you?

 

**ELI**

Please, David. Why would you want to save a country that’s already going to hell? And be ordered around by some idiots in the government? I’ve seen the truth. I’m no longer a special forces operative. I’ve put together my own team of special agents and together we’re going to tear this place down! We’re gonna institute a new government, an Outer Heaven free of political corruption! And _you’re_ not invited!

 

**DAVID**

First of all, that’s just rude.

Second of all, you’re crazy.

Third, my name isn’t David anymore.

I’m an agent and my codename is Snake.

  **ELI**

No fair, I wanna be Snake!

**DAVID**

Too bad, I called it first.

          (beat)

Oh, don’t look at me like that! Ugh, fine, we’ll share it. I’ll be Solid Snake because… _I’m solid_!

          (winks)

**ELI**

          (groans)

You did not just reference _Undercover Brother_.

**DAVID**

Eli, pull that stick out of your ass and have some fun for once, God!

**ELI**

Liquid.

**DAVID**

What?

**ELI**

Liquid Snake. That’s my codename. Because I’m your opposite, as different from you as possible.

**DAVID**

Ouch. Alright _Liquid_ , I’m afraid I’m gonna have to stop you from making your little utopia. It’s too communist for America.

 

**ELI**

Not yet, Snake! It’s not over yet!

          (he pulls the table prop from the previous set between

          himself and **DAVID** )

You need to infiltrate my secret base, first!

And I’ve got a secret weapon: a walking nuclear bomb that I can set off any time I like! I’m gonna nuke this place and give America a fresh start!

 

**DAVID**

Oh yeah? Well I’ve got the password you need to activate the nuke!

**ELI**

You think stopping me is that easy? I’ve kidnapped your precious little president and I’m holding him hostage! If you don’t give me the password, I’ll kill him! I’m giving you 24 hours!

 

**DAVID**

Eli, I don’t wanna play this game anymore. I think you’re getting a little crazy with your ideas.

 

**ELI**

Nonsense! How do I know you’re not just saying that to catch me off guard? I’m not stupid!

**DAVID**

          (groans)

Whatever, Eli. Tell you what. I’ll give you the password if you give me the president. Fair trade.

 

**ELI**

How do I know you won’t try anything funny?

**DAVID**

No guns. And I’ll agree to whatever terms you have. You choose where we meet.

**ELI**

Fair enough. Ok we meet on top of the nuclear weapon. See you there.

( **DAVID** and **ELI** climb to the top of the table and stand face to face)

 

**ELI**

Hello my dear brother! Sorry the president isn’t alive to see our reunion. But you can have his corpse.

 

**DAVID**

What the hell! You said you’d trade the president for the password!

**ELI**

You never specified if you wanted him alive or dead. Besides, I couldn’t take chances. He might’ve known the code to deactivate the nuke and worked with you to input it and thwart my plans.

 

**DAVID**

You bastard!

**ELI**

          (laughs)

Now all I got to do is eliminate you! Then I have nothing standing in my way! I’ll win! Have at you, Snake!

          (he rushes toward **DAVID** and throws a punch)

**DAVID**

Oof!

          (he doubles over)

You’re not supposed to actually hit me!

**ELI**

Ah, and that is where you are wrong! I’m proving I’m the superior brother! Method acting! I have become the character! I have surpassed my genes! I am Liquid Snake!

 

**DAVID**

Then don’t cry when I break your face!

(he kicks **ELI** and the two engage in hand to hand combat. They fight until both lie on the ground, battered and bleeding)

 

**ELI**

          (pants)

I feel…faint…

**DAVID**

That’s because

          (pants)

I poisoned you. You’re dying. You were poisoned from the get-go. It’s in your genes!

 

**ELI**

What?! How?! Why you…

          (he groans and pants as he crawls toward **DAVID** )

I hate you!!!

          (he grabs **DAVID** in a chokehold and the two struggle)

I’m the winner! Me! I’m the superior twin!

It’s not fair! Father always loved you more! Father always told me I was inferior!

**DAVID**

          (gasps)

Eli…I’m sorry…But I can’t breathe…

 

**ELI**

          (is crying as he laughs)

Well I’ll show Father! I’m the superior twin! I’m…

          (he gasps for breath as the poison overtakes him)

 

          ( **DAVID** and **ELI** grow limp and collapse to the ground)

**JOHN**

          (He rises from his director’s chair, clapping)

Excellent work, boys! I didn’t once have to prompt you! You not only remembered the roles I gave you but you practically lived them! Now that’s what I call acting!

(He lifts the bodies of **DAVID** and **ELI** and hides them beneath the table)

We’ll hold a proper funeral in memorial of your valiant services later. Your dedication will not go unsung.

          (offstage to **JACK** )

I’m done here! You can resume your shoot, Jack!

          (he walks offstage as he makes a phone call)

 

          (enter **JACK** and **ROSE** )

 

**JACK**

Look at this place! He kicks us off our own lot to shoot his film during our time- and he doesn’t even set our scene back up for us?!

**ROSE**

The nerve of some people. Ah well, what can you do. Help me reset the scene, dear.

( **JACK** and **ROSE** begin to set the stage as it was in the beginning, placing the food back on the table. As they go to move the table back into place, **JACK** notices **ELI** ’s foot sticking out from beneath the table)

 

**JACK**

          (hoarsely)

Rose…? Is- is that a FOOT?

**ROSE**

Why yes, it looks like it is. What is a foot doing there?

 

          ( **JACK** and **ROSE** lift the tablecloth and gasp)

 

**ROSE**

There are two dead boys underneath the table!

 

**JACK**

It looks like they strangled each other. That must’ve been some fistfight with bruises like that. Look at all the blood!

 

**ROSE**

We can’t just leave them here like this! Corpses don’t just show up casually in romantic comedies!

 

**JACK**

Unfortunately we’re a little pressed for time so we’ll have to make due. We can edit it out in post-production. No one will notice.

 

**ROSE**

And if we haven’t the money?

 

**JACK**

We can start a new trend. Maybe it’ll catch on. Don’t worry, it’s not sex so it shouldn’t bump the rating up to R.

 

**ROSE**

If you say so…

 

( **JACK** sets up the cameras and lighting as they were in the beginning of the scene. He and **ROSE** resume their positions and start their scene from the top)

 

**ROSE**

Jack, you DO remember what day it is, don’t you?

**JACK**

Er, April 20th?

**ROSE**

And?

          (looks at **JACK** expectantly)

**JACK**

And what? Is there something important about it?

**ROSE**

Important?! Jack, it’s our anniversary! How could you forget?!

 

          (the lights dim and the curtain begins to close.

          End scene)


End file.
